in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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