how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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