Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
