what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
