and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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