I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
