went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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