D3 body, D1 cock
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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