Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
