dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
