Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
