i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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