I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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