drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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