Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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