And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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