there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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