Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
