i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
my shit smells like andre
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
