i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
