He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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