Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
