It's like a parade of train wrecks.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
