i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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