I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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