i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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