I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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