I've blown a few things in my day
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
