Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
