i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
