So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
