You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
