i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
