Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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