true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
