i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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