You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
