i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
