Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
