Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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