My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
