my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
