the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
