OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
