In America we eat man semen.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
