We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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