I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
