I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
