I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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