No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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