oh god the rape fog is back!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
