i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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