her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
