giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Let's paint friendship bongs
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
