dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
As shirtless as possible
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
