he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
