I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
